WARNING! The Swede Contains Explicit Lyrics!!!

Well, it's that time again, everyone. Seeing as how my gay best friend and one of my only close high school friends are dead and I have moved from home to be at school in New York, it's time to start a new leaf. This is like one of those massive sofa sales where a balding man in a plaid jacket yells at a camera "EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!!!!!!!!"

Only more depressing.

That's right, everyone, it's time to get a whole new life so I can try all over again to fit in and be accepted for the messed up puppy I am. Which is the first thing that's going to change, I'm going to try to fit in better. I think it's become glaringly obvious that I'm not like other people in that I don't understand them at all, and my people interaction skills are horrible when I'm not pretending to be social. But you know, I liked that about myself. I actually kind of liked it a lot, now that I think about it. It kind of stood as a testiment to my strength of character as if to say "Yes! I went through Hell. Yes! I ran the gauntlet. And yes! I came out alive." And I honestly feel hat is worth something.

Apparently, I'm the only one that thinks that.

And really, what's the point of liking yourself for who you are when no one else really likes it?

So I'm starting all over. I'm going to try to get better, I'm going to try to be more human, and if I don' like it, the hell if I'm going to keep it that way. At least I tried.

So that's it, everyone. New career path, new motivations, new interests, new friends, the whole fucking shbang.

God, I'm so miserable.

I hate having to start over. But what do you do when you have no choice? I have no clue, which is why I'm doing this. It's hard having no options, and it's hard hearing you're a problem, or that your wrong, or that the things you do aren't good enough, Or that knowing that even when you're felt you accomplished something, it ammounts to nothing to other people. It sucks, and I hate feeling that way. I just wish I knew how to fix it.

Eh, I like being alone, I'm a very independant person, I've been braving things alone for a good part of my life, mostly because I chose to do so. But it's always a lot easier being alone when you know that if you need someone, someone will be there for you. And I do have someone, I've got my mom and dad and Douglas, and they're great. I just don't have that essential best friend thing. And it won't be the forst time I've lived like that. I've just gotten so used to it. Which is silly, I should have corrected that when Fletcher and Allison died. But I didn't. Stupid, stupid Hanna.

That was a lot longer than I intended, sorry about that. I'll try to getting around to writing a bit more from now on.

The Pimpernel Character List is postponed indefenately.